Seagalology - The Study of Steven Seagal

Welcome to the Seagalology web site, devoted to the study of Steven Seagal. What is Seagalology? Have you ever watched a Steven Seagal movie and wondered if you've already seen it before? Did it seem oddly familiar, and not just because Steven Seagal is incapable of showing any emotion? That's because every Steven Seagal film follows a very specific formula and design in terms of plot, characters and of course Steven Seagal. This page is dedicated to that formula. Why? Because somebody had to do it.

November 28, 2011
There's No Justice Like True Justice [5:19am]
Unless you've been living under a rock where they don't get news about Steven Seagal you probably already know about his latest television series that does not involve him breaking up cockfighting rings with a tank. If you live in Spain or possibly the UK you may have seen True Justice, the story of Elijah Kane, guy who breaks lots of necks and has a penchant for being near explosions a lot. The thirteen episode series was broken up into seven different movies, each comprised of two episodes (except the last one, which is only one episode I guess). Since this site is only here to catalog Steven Seagal's film career I won't be adding a page for True Justice, however each film totally counts as a film, so I've added all of them. As you might expect there is plenty of hilarity to see in there, and a few tears along the way. Tears of laughter, I mean, because holy crap! For example, we have a new entry in the recycled face competition:

I'm pretty pleased with that one overall. And yes, there are now Seagal films called Urban Justice and Urban Warfare, which means Warfare Justice can't be far away. Here's hoping! See you guys next year!

April 2, 2011
Steven Seagal Hates Cock Fighting (And Photo Shoots) [10:16pm]
So apparently his show, Lawman, is still on!

But wait, that's not all! We have a very special update for you. First off Born To Raise Hell was updated complete with box art (this one is also on Blu-Ray!) and some what will no doubt be very shocking news. The photo appears to have been recycled from a previous film! Just look:

At first I thought this was the very first time this had happened, but upon closer inspection the precedent seems to have been set back in 2006:

Why nobody thought of this before I'll never know but there you have it!

September 23, 2010
Hello Visitors Who Will Never Come Back [7:36pm]
I was randomly looking at the Analytics and noticed a massive spike in traffic. One much like Steven Seagal would drive into your chest if you ever crossed him:

Apparently the site was randomly linked on Joystiq. Pretty cool! I'd have greeted all those many visitors (dare I say it: dozens of visitors) but I didn't notice until it was too late and they're clearly gone now. Oh well. Oh, I also updated Machete because why not?

Finally I want to give a little shout out to my homies Elizabeth, Greg and David. I love you guys, and thanks for all the support!

February 6, 2010
Born to Annoy [10:07am]
Well, welcome to the first and potentially only update of 2010. I've updated A Dangerous Man (formerly 'On The Run') and The Keeper as well as adding two new unreleased movies. That's it!

August 25, 2009
Steven Seagal: Lawman [9:53pm]
Far be it from me to update twice in two months, but you'll thank me for this one:

That's right, Steven Seagal is getting his own reality TV series on A&E! Weather or not you believe any of the pitches the commercial is giving off is your decision but oh man. Finally Steven Seagal gets to make one of his movies into reality! Hopefully nobody hurts his family. It's also worth noting that 'Lawman' follows the one-word rule reasonably well. See you guys later!

July 15, 2009
Update of the Year [7:10am]
I guess it's about time for the old yearly update, right? Kudos to those of you who have stuck with us. This site still somehow gets around fifty unique hits a day, though I'm not sure how or why.

Anyway, the mood struck me randomly, so I've updated Kill Switch and Flight of Fury (both are now released, obviously) and added Driven to Kill and Against the Dark (more on that last one later) both of which were apparently conceived, filmed, edited and released since my last update. On the up and coming we have The Keeper due in 2009 and On the Run slotted for a 2010 release. So that should be fun!

As far as Against the Dark goes, I really just want to share the plot summary with you as parting words. It's too good not to:

When most of the population of Earth is infected by a virus and transformed in flesh eaters and blood drinking creatures, a group of hunters leaded by Tao and his word chases the vampire zombies to eliminate them. Six non-infected survivors try to find the exit of an abandoned hospital crowded of the infected creatures, and Tao and his group help them. Meanwhile the military command is ready to bomb and wipe out the area from the map.

See you guys next year!

June 5, 2008
Cock Puncher Trailer! [5:44pm]

Also many movies have been updated! Kill Switch (formerly A Higher Form of Learning and Pistol Whipped updated! New movie called Ruslan!! Holy shit!!

March 5, 2008
Steven Seagal Is: Cock Puncher [2:58am]
Two updates within three months? It must be something special!

December 11, 2007
2007 Is A Wrap! [4:31am]
Hey guys, I know it's been like, over a year... does anyone still come here? Anyone? Oh well. At least I have an update in 2007. Updated yearly! Anyway we have some new films for you: Pistol Whipped and A Higher Form of Learning, both due in 2008. The info for Urban Justice (formerly Once Upon a Time in the Hood which did not fit the formula very well). That's all I've got for now, see you kids next year (hopefully)!

December 6, 2006
Banansistan [4:20pm]
Long time no see, eh? Okay, I have no idea if anyone even reads this page any more because it's kind of been a long time since I updated it. But hey, it's on my resume so I may as well make it seem like I haven't abandoned it. I have no news to report except I updated a couple movies. Some titles changed and some plots changed. Turns out Harvester was totally faked and now it's called Attack Force and has a totally different plot. Ah well. Also Enemy of the Unseen was renamed to Flight of Fury which fits the formula much better. Still takes place in Banansistan though. Keen. Also Under Seige 3 (on the hoaxes page now) was apparently fake. Frowny face.

And that's all I have to say I think! I changed the menu a little so you can now view all released/unreleased/hoax movies if you like. Or not, I don't care. See you guys in a couple months or something!